March 28, 2010

The Way We Were

“Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them.”
- Carrie "Sex in the City" (sorry mom..... i used to watch the tbs versions...)
The other night Kurt and I rented The Way We Were with Babs and the ultimate Hottie Robert Redford (yum). An acclaimed classic*,  I was eager to watch this 'tear-jerking romance movie'. Needless to say, I had NO idea what it really was about, and when I finished it, I was really surprised how much I started to think about my relationship with Kurt. The movie really put me in a funk for a good 24 hours {I am sorry for those who haven't seen it, this will ruin the ending for you}. 

 I found myself analyzing their relationship from start to finish.  Katie is an outspoken, NEVER-give-up, strong-willed woman. Hubbell is Mr. Popular, blend into the background, kind of guy. 

First, Hubbell (Redford), never really seemed to truly LOVE Katie (Babs) - from the start he seemed distant and almost embarrassed by her {he didn't know how to handle her brash behavior}. But for some unknown reason to me, they end up married.  {I think he admired her strength}

Then after some drama in their professional lives- they drift apart, Katie gets pregnant, happy day for all. Things start to unravel and fall apart {he sleeps with his old college girlfriend admits to Katie that she just pushes him too hard}  then months later she tells Hubbell that he needs to stay with her until, at least, the baby is born. 

The next scene is them at the hospital, and the tension and awkwardness is DAUNTING! You can see it in her eyes that the marriage is over and she's devastated that she has to, essentially, give up the marriage.{I couldn't handle it. if Kurt wasn't sitting there with me I probably would have balled my eyes out}. You can see that she is going against every fiber of her being to be complacent.{ AAAHHH!!! } 

...They see each other on the street, both older and married to other people, and they embrace, and it was THIS embrace that I feel was the most heartfelt, it was devastating. He was with his 'right style' woman, timid, straight hair, soft spoken. And she knew that is what he always truly wanted..  but they both seem happy. {my note: she seems happier than he does, i think he realizes that she was an amazingly strong woman that he could never equal in strength}

I don't really know how to describe how I felt after the movie. It was disappointment that they didn't work out, relief that they both found happiness,  anxiety over the emotion spent on this movie, and contemplation over what my relationship with my husband will entail over the course of OUR lives. But overall CONFUSION on if I liked the movie or not.. {hahaha}

But i do know this, 
Kurt and I both have our strengths and weaknesses, we hate each other one minute, love each other the next, and we're crazy like that. But that is what works for us. I think people take an outside look at our relationship and make too many judgments.  Nobody knows how we work things out, how we make it day to day. Marriage is no easy task, it takes hard work, every minute of every day. We  are in our 5 year anniversary year and it seems the only thing we have figured out is how to make each other furious in five words or less. {great feat i know, right?!}  I hope that we can turn it around and make each other gloriously happy in five words or less, by our tenth anniverary... but we'll see. 

I hardly ever say this to anyone except Kurt, let alone on the computer, {I think it cheapens it and becomes cliche and evokes gag reflexes} but, I want everyone to know that I love my husband {and can't stand him at the same time - just kidding}.

We are not perfect people, we are not a perfect couple, but we are happy and we have beautiful children. 

I have found my someone who is just as wild to run with me.


  • Top 100 Passions
  • Top 100 Movies nominee
1974 Academy Award®
  • Best Music Score
  • Best Music Song
  • Best Art Direction nominee
  • Best Actress nominee: Barbra Streisand
  • Best Cinematography nominee
  • Best Costume Design nominee
1975 BAFTA®
1974 Golden Globe Awards
  • Best Actress in a Motion Picture (Drama) nominee


Shelley said...

I think that is the way it goes when you are married to a Griffiths. No offense Kari and Jen, but I think you would agree too. The Griffiths are just passionate people, and that's why we love them.

Alex Griffiths said...

'passionate' - a good nice word.

Jen R. said...

What you are Kurt dont have a perfect marriage?! how embarrassing! Jared and I have never even had a disagreement let alone a fight! :) ha ha ok just kidding. I just told him the other day I've never loved someone and hated someone so much at the same time!