Beware: Certain Side Affects

I think Kurt is really the only one who can truly attest to this, but I seem to develop a certain disorder when I am pregnant.

It really is unintentional, however seemingly uncontrollable.

Besides for the normal hormone changes and the complete urge to just punch random annoying people in the face {figuratively speaking - we ain't living in the Jersey Shore}.. I have developed Tourettes Coprolalia.

For those of you who don't know what that is, you can Wiki it.. {click Coprolalia}.. or to save some time, it's the swearing syndrome {often mistaken as Tourettes}.

funny little poster... unfortunately, those aren't my words currently.

I really don't know why I just can't seem to control myself. I mean, everyone curses, to their degree, in their head or under their breath - but not out loud. And for some reason I have lost all self control in that department. Maybe, subconsciously I have lost so much control, especially being pregnant {body, cravings, mood swings}, that this is the only way my mind copes to relieve the stress.

Now, I do have a four year old in the house. Gratefully I have not heard her say anything terrible. It's usually directed at Kurt {sorry, honey} and his computer game {@#$#%$@##@ STARCRAFT}..amongst other things**.

So besides for cursing like a pirate/sailor, I have also lost my ability to hold back any form of tears. I mean ANY.

Kurt and I were talking about our future possibilities within In-N-Out.

{Side note: for those of you who know me well, being away from California is one of the hardest things for me. I get terribly homesick and wish for the nice moisture rich sea air... and mexican food.. and thai food... and the beach.. and my family... oh dear I need to stop}

ANYWAY... So we were talking possible moves, when it came up that we may want/have to move to another spot in Utah. Now, the first thing that popped in my head wasn't "Oh dear Lord why would I spend one more day in Utah*{see disclaimer below}" but rather, "What will Reese do about all her friends?! She loves them all, and it will be so sad for her. I can't handle telling her she has to leave Maggie and Jaxon!! And our ward- where are we going to find another ward like this? And our house?!"....

So I immediately started to cry, like a lot. Kurt was utterly confused because all of this was going on in my head, and it took like 5 minutes for me to compose myself enough to tell him what the heck was going on, then when I did, he just laughs {because he knows I'm all sorts of crazy right now} which makes me cry even MORE.


You may be asking yourself... "what brought all of this on?". Well, let me tell you about some crazy woman that tried to pull crazy stuff with me at the grocery store today.

It all started this afternoon.

I was reluctant to go to the grocery store due to the fact that I have two crazy toddlers who like to drive the shopping cart car.. or when those run out {every single time} they like to run their mini-carts into each other and then cry and scream about it.

And if I walk for more than 10 minutes I'm in severe pain the rest of the day. (PGP is a not fun thing)

But, I had to go.

So we arrive and we find that they have the shopping cart with the green car {huzzah!}. So I load my kids in and head straight for the Redbox booth.

MEANWHILE, some crazy dark haired 30-something lady with an AIR FORCE sweatshirt and leopard fuzzy slippers, darts in, grabs a cart, and heads straight for the Redbox booth as well {she walked in about a minute after me - we were halfway to the booth when she walked in the store}.

What happened next you ask? WELL this crazy woman decides that she was there 'first' and literally races me to the Redbox booth, runs her cart into my kids {who are in the car seat} with her cart and cuts me off with a loud cart 'crash' sound.

VS.









FOR A FREAKING $1.00 MOVIE!!!

Now, I was not intentionally participating in the 'race' I was just trying to get out of her way so that she could pass behind me to get into the store. I had no idea that her intention was to get to the Redbox booth. Now, I may have mislead her because I was waddling due to my PGP... but I was clearly headed in that direction.

NOW. WHAT CRAZY BUTT WOMAN THINKS THAT RUNNING INTO A PREGNANT LADY WITH TWO TODDLERS IS OK? I MEAN, HAS SHE EVER BEEN PREGNANT.. DOES SHE KNOW THE CRAZY I COULD UNLEASH AT THAT VERY MOMENT?

phew.. well, she didn't apologize, {which is what polite people do}, she just ignored the fact that a volcano was about to erupt behind her and clicked to get some lame movie that wasn't even a new release, for like 5 minutes.

So {due to the aforementioned syndrome} I may have thought some not nice words towards her. Now, I wont write what I wrote down.. some of you have weak hearts.. but if we were watching Clean Fliks. it would have sounded like this:

"Excuse me, lady. What the heck is your problem? Un-***- believable. What the heck was that? female dog! She is so darn lucky my kids are right here. What a complete not nice lady. I'm may be pregnant but I can still kick your fat butt. I hope that movie was worth it... etc"

and then I started to tear up.. {ok maybe one or two tears managed to escape down my cheek.... }

I know, the swearing is terrible, and I swear it's worse because I'm in this current state of pregnancy.

So this was going through my head as I was walking away, completely dumbfounded on what had just happened. Then I realize....

I did not just think that in my head.

I just said that out loud.

How did I know that?

The produce men were laughing at me talking to myself while looking over at the lady still at the Redbox, and then back at me.

Now, I started this rant right after she ran into me.

Heaven help my soul.

I was wondering why she was taking so long at the Redbox booth....

And you want to know the CRAZIEST thing after that?

She started following me and the babies around the store. FOLLOWING US, every single aisle. And we were doing the 'bob and weave' approach to the grocery shopping.

{That's where to go up and down random aisles instead of starting at one end and working your way to the other end}

Finally, I turned around, gave her the "can I help you? look", and she walked away briskly.

Now, I NEVER have the guts/audacity/rudeness to do this to strangers/people normally. I'm the "lets just forget and forgive, call her a 'butt-face' and ignore her, avoid eye contact..etc".                                

But not today, or any of these last few weeks I've been pregnant.

Normally I would feel awful that I had brought my thoughts a loud.. but not so much this time. Does this make me a bad person? I don't think so.. I just need to realize when I'm thinking something and when I'm actually saying it out loud.

The only other excuse I could possibly give when Heavenly Father asks me about this situation, is that I was pregnant with a boy and the extra testosterone going through my system was too much for me to handle.

Oh brother.

I'm just glad I don't go out in public too often.

Yes, I am a self-proclaimed hermit.

I love pajamas too much.

Besides the fact that they are the only things that really fit and feel nice right now.


Disclaimer:
* When I speak of Utah, {and disliking it}, it's mainly just because it isn't my home. And the food is really terrible here. And the people are just nosey rude people who like to give unsolicited parenting advice every time I step out of the door. And the weather can be hard to deal with. And I have never seen so many really terrible drivers in my entire life.  


HOWEVER,  I absolutely LOVE our ward. I have never met so many wonderful people. If I could transfer our ward to California, I would do that instantly. They are humble, hard working, helpful, funny, concerned, spiritual people who offer tremendous examples to Kurt and I. 


OK - so just now- as I was writing this, someone from our ward just sent their daughter over and delivered a plate of hot, large, chocolate chip cookies.. AREN'T THEY AMAZING?!!!!!! she must have known I had a mini breakdown at the grocery store... somehow.... 

Pain in the Cannoli

This pregnancy has been *fantastic* {I figure asterisks will imply sarcasm}... I have been in the most pain.....

So I talked to several of my doctors {I have a group of 5 men} and they gave me this:

You have, what is called, Pelvic Girdle Pain. {Wiki it right  ->HERE<- according to wikipedia, i think i have type 2} In essence,  it's when the your pelvic bone starts separating early to compensate for the impending birth, and it hurts, a lot.

So what does that mean for me?

• Pretty much my whole pelvic bone is hanging on by threads... literally....and it feels like I have broken hips, tailbone, and pelvis.
• I have to wear a maternity brace
• If I walk for more than a half hour straight, I cannot walk the rest of the day
• Ice my back, nightly
• Take tylenol PM to sleep... {unfortunately, this baby does not like tylenol, so I end up throwing up in the morning}
• I waddle like a penguin. 
• I literally cannot pick ANYTHING up from the floor, or anywhere, without paying for it later {so you can imagine the state of our house right now}
• My hips 'go out' so I look like a drunken penguin waddling and stumbling about.... 

yes, this is me. 

... i think that's the majority of my woes.....

So here's an example:

  

We all went bowling on Monday {it was Kurt's day off}. I though it would be fine, I wouldn't do any fancy moves, or run up to the lane with a ball, just take it easy. 

We played two games, Everett was throwing a fit, so I picked him us several times, but everything was feeling fine. 

Immediately afterwards I started to get the sharp pain in my lower back/hips/pelvic. As I was walking to the car I could feel the pressure burying down on my pelvic bone, and my walk started turning to my limp/waddle. At lunch I could barely get in and out of the chair without severe pain shooting to my hips.  When we got home I just took it easy and didn't walk much at all.. but having toddlers, you can't stay still for very long. So I got them their snacks, started a show, changed diapers, put them to bed..... all while walking like Frankenstein. 

Usually after a morning with some physical activity, the next day I'm feeling ok. Still a little pain, but OK. But not yesterday OR today. Yes, I am still majorly paying for actually wanting to go out and do something fun/physical.  

dang it. 

I REALLY want this baby to come VERY SOON!!!! 

Other than that, I am feeling quite good. I am a little tired here and there, but that seems to be normal with two wild banshees/spider monkeys living in your house. My hair is getting silky and thick.. I'm really excited about that. And I'm not craving anything to terribly weird. 

I just have a severe sweet tooth. 

...and not like cookies and candy.. but BAKED GOODS.. like EVERYTHING FROM

 "CAKE BOSS" {dang netflix.. torturing me with baked goodness}... speaking of which...

Someone bring me a lobster tail (or should I say a la Sfogliatella) and a cannoli! STAT!

(but not from Kneaders.. that stuff is NOT authentic/fresh pastry)

I really need to find an italian bakery here... very soon. 

With Reese {or was it Everett?} by my third trimester I wanted to eat everything in sight. But with this one I just cannot stand a lot of food. I think I eat one 'big' meal then I'm totally cool with just snacking. 

Also, 

Reese has a name for our baby boy. She's telling everyone as well... even though I'm not sure Kurt is 100% on it.... Now we are just stuck on a middle name.. that is where the baby naming contest will come in.. hopefully. 

And I am 32 weeks.. I think...

And that's about it. 

p.s.

If you feel it in your heart to send me some italian baked goods... y'know.... I mean... if you happen to be in the vicinity of one... and you happen to walk in... and get a lobster tail.... and send it to a very pregnant person.... I think I would love you forever... and maybe take your family pictures for free?.... babysit?......  clean your house?..... balance your checkbook??!!!.. .SEND YOUR KID TO COLLEGE???!!!!

 {ok so maybe I wouldn't go THAT far...} 

lobster tails and cannoli 

Pregnancy Ramblings

Well, as you all know, we are expecting a "bouncing baby boy" (as Jacob from Twilight puts it- you just have to watch Breaking Dawn.. and try not to giggle throughout it...) 

So here's the scoop on this pregnancy.. so far.

When Kurt and I first decided we wanted a third baby, we didn't want to have a huge gap from Everett to this last one. So, we either had our last little one soon or we just stick with two {wonderful} children. Really, not a big deal to either Kurt nor I.

Anyway,

So we went to Kurt's brother's wedding in July. I was feeling really great. I did get a little car sick on the ride up there because Kurt had me take one of those 5 hour energy drinks (those things are CRAZY by the way). But, other than that I was pretty good. (I mention the wedding because, little did I know, I was already pregnant at this point)

So we get back home and a couple of weeks go by, and then I realize that I was missing a certain 'monthly' thing. I couldn't really believe it.

I took a test.

Yep, I'm pregnant.

NOW, It was close enough to our anniversary that I wanted to wait and surprise Kurt. Since we did something cute for his parents with Reese, cute with my parents for Everett, I figured I'd do something cute for him.

Well, about two weeks out of our anniversary date, I started to get really sick. I told Kurt and I must have gotten a flu or something.. which couldn't really work past a couple of days.. so eventually, I was too sick, and so I told him. With a card.. I was trying to save.

With this card: (on the inside it said "for the third time")

I can't really remember his reaction. I'm pretty sure he was surprised, but I am sure he was suspecting something was up.

SO yes,

I was sick. SICK.

This early pregnancy reminded me so much of when I was pregnant with Reese. Everything was exactly the same. Craving the same foods, avoiding the same smells. Needless to say, I was convinced I was having a girl. AGAIN.

Which was fine with us. When we were first discussing our preference, Kurt and I both said that it would be nice to have another girl. Reese is just so darn fun, and Everett is so manly that it would be a nice balance.

Anyway, with this pregnancy I was/am very nervous about the health. I think it's because that I was really so fortunate with Reese and Everett, that I feel like I'm pushing my luck having a third baby. So I decided that I really didn't want to tell anyone until all the important test results had been taken. Which, is how we were with all the kids really. I mean (not to make anybody nervous) but so many things can go wrong in the first trimester that I would hate to let all my friends and family know we are pregnant the day I pee on a stick, and then something goes wrong, I don't know.. I would just like to deal with that kind of thing on my own. .. and that is why we waited "so long" to tell everybody.

Phew.. changing the subject..

Well, Kurt let it slip to pretty much everybody he ran into. Even our friends he saw at Walmart. He just couldn't resist. So after the initial test and ultrasounds were fine, we told our parents.

Then when the down-syndrome test, and the big ultrasound was ok, we would let everybody else know.

At around 20 weeks or so, when we found out we were actually having a BOY. The 'boy' side of the pregnancy started to kick in.  With Reese I didn't sweat (even though I was pregnant during summer) and felt energetic. With Everett I was so stinky (sorry but it's true) just like a boy. I felt like testosterone was pumping through me and I just couldn't get back to being girly. But, my hair was nice, and my skin did clear up.

So, yes, I feel gross pretty much all the time. I purchased the heavy duty prescription deodorant, and even in the middle of winter I'm sweating non-stop. GROSS. I am so exhausted! And can't get in 50 yards of anything GARLIC. oh dear that is the WORST SMELL EVER.

Leading up to the 20 week ultrasound (the exciting one), I had a very strong feeling that I was having a boy. I just felt it in my gut that we just needed to have another boy. Maybe it was because Reese dresses Everett up in her princess dresses, or maybe it was mother's intuition. Who KNOWS!?

When we found out we were having a boy, Reese was TERRIBLY upset. Mainly due to the fact that Kurt and her would have a daily conversation about having a baby sister. I warned him not to do that, just in case.. but when does a husband ever really listen?

When we got home Reese and Daddy had a 'private talk' and Reese was fine with another baby brother. Not sure what was said. Kurt said it's between him and Reese.. and hey, if Reese is in a better mood, I'm OK. 

Kurt and I are both thrilled that it was actually a boy. Kurt gets to spoil his little girl, and I get to take these rough boys to sports. It actually works our perfectly. And Everett? He's already giving his brother raspberries and poking him. (not too much fun for mommy, but Everett loves it). 

And yes. we are done with babies. 

Now, every time I've said that, people have laughed and said "yeah, right." Well, I guess no one really knows Kurt and I because, YES. This is our last one. Three kids is PERFECT for us. There really is no way we could handle a fourth child. NO WAY. 

So there's the scoop. poop.

Currently: 

I am 25/26 weeks. The baby is perfectly healthy, very strong, and very picky with food (I guess I'm picky with food). 

I feel so tired all day long. My right hip feels like it's out of socket. I have a perpetual sinus problem (I have no idea where that came from, but my doctor said some women just get it....).  And sleeping is starting to get uncomfortable. 

On the flip side I .....

hmmm....

my skin is clearer (some days), and my hair is getting a little thicker??

.... hmm.. 

pregnancy just isn't my thing. But boy, do I LOVE my babies. I am so excited to meet this one. 

Still don't have name.. or any secret name... or any name that I might like... it's hard with these boys. Taking suggestions... 

So congrats.. you made it to the end of this post. Your prize??

Here's our ultrasound video... if you can catch it, you can tell it's a boy straight away. And I did catch it.. straight away.. so when he announced it, I wasn't surprised. 

(sorry about the watermark... it's the best i could do....converting the video for free...)

10 Best and Worst Smells

Top Ten Best Smells:

10. Kurt showered and cologned

9. Fresh roses 

8. Sweet cigars

7. Bonfire

6. Hawaii

5. Early dewy mornings

4. Fresh cut grass

3. Christmas season 

2. Rain on hot asphalt

1. Baby's skin

Top Ten Worst Smells:

10. Daffodils

9. Rubber burn-outs

8. Kurt after work

7. Swiss Cheese

6. European Underground

5. Edamame

4. Cigarette smoke

3. Tuna from the can

2. Old folk's homes

1. Old lady perfume (anything by Elizabeth Taylor and others like it)

Bonus Smells:

These are the smells that I LOVED during my pregnancy and immediately afterwards:

• Beer or any malted alcoholic beverage 
• Tomatoes
• Reese's breath. ( i know that's weird.. but i still like the smell of it....??!! i'm crazy, i know)

My Life Soundtrack

Have you ever been driving in your car, a song comes on the radio, and then floods of memories start replaying in your mind? There are few songs that really bring me back to a certain time, but these definitely do. first a little disclaimer: The songs that remind me of my life doesn't mean that I was doing what the song entails. It was usually the song on the radio all the time, or we were all singing it together, or we all started talking about that song, etc. So don't flip out when you read some of these songs and think I'm some partying promiscuous girl..because I'm really not, I mean really not.

So here it is, My Soundtrack:

Disc One: Early Years

1. Baby-hood: Love Me Tender- Elvis Presley
2. Europe: Don't Be Cruel - Elvis Presley
3. Elementry School: I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston
4. Summers and Saturdays: I Can See Clearly Now - Johnny Nash
5. Middle School: Don't Speak - No Doubt
6. High School: Bye Bye Bye -*NSYNC
7. Varsity Sports: Ain't No Mountain High Enough - Marvin Gaye
8. First Job: Kung Fu Fighting - Carl Douglas and ABC - Jackson Five
9. First Boyfriend: In Da Club - 50 Cent
10. Graduation: Your Body is a Wonderland - John Mayer
11. Summer Before BYU: Stacy's Mom - Fountains Of Wayne
12. First Trip To Havasu: Girls & Boys - Good Charlotte

* Alternate Title #12: Playing "Chicken" with the Semi's
*Bonus Track: New Car: You Sexy Thing - Hot Chocolate
Disc Two: All Grown Up

1. Real Heartache: Beer For My Horses - Toby Keith
2. BYU Frosh Year: You & I Both - Jason Mraz
3. Roomates: Perfect Day - Hoku
4. Dating Kurt: Baby I'm-A Want You - Bread
5. BYU Soph Year: This Love - Maroon 5
6. Long Distance Love: She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5
7. Wedding: You're the Inspiration - Chicago
8. Married Life: I Want To Break Free - Queen
9. Pregnancy: Me Love - Sean Kingston
10. Baby: Capri - Colbie Caillat
11. Mom-hood: With You - Chris Brown
12. Married Life (Reprise): Umbrella - Rihanna

* Bonus Track: Blogging: Lucky - Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat